Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
