doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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