You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
