So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
this hospital has no fireball
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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