The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
