You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
