Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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