Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
