Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
