You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
