bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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