Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
