I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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