I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Randomize
