do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
