You work out of a Hotel?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
