im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
