All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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