He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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