ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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