I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
