ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
