the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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