Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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