Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
vagina is talking i cant
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize