i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
