oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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