This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
