You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
