Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
