i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
