ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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