mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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