do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I need to sanitize my soul.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
