idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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