Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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