guys are not supposed to queef...right?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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