I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
