I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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