i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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