My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize