Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
