There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
