sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
