If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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