So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
