So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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