Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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