My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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