I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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