you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
ugly people sure do ruin things
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize