i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
