i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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