i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
