i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
