The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up under a house in Key West
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
