so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
they need to just BURY HIM!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I fill condoms, not promises.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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