He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
